The Last Straw
by Odile1001
Summary: Hermione decides to take revenge on Snape for all the horrible things he's ever done to her and her friends by pranking and annoying him at every opportunity.  Rated for language and future smut.
1. Chapter 1

"This is the last straw! I'm telling you Harry! I need my revenge!" I shrieked shrilly as I stormed into the common room, Harry following me fearfully.

"Ron… Ron I think she's finally snapped!" He whispered to his friend as I swirled to face him.

"Severus Snape, this means war! You'll regret the day you ever laughed at me…"


	2. Chapter 2

Breakfast the next morning began as usual. I went down to the Great Hall with my friends, laughing and teasing about Harry's newest hero-worshipper; a cute little Hufflepuff who sent him a love letter every other week.

"Just watch it, Harry," said Ron, "We don't want another Romilda Vane incident." He shuddered in horror at the thought whilst Harry grinned nervously.

We all sat down and began to eat breakfast.

"Anyway, Hermione. Last night. You were pretty… um… worked up about the whole Snape thing. You've got over it now, right?" Ron said to me, glancing at Harry like I was a Howler about to explode.

"Well, I'm a lot calmer than then, but I stand by what I said: I think Snape needs to learn his lesson. It's our last year; our only chance. I want to do something that's a bit wild for once, you know? And then Snape majorly pissed me off and I thought, well, how about I get revenge for all those times where he's bullied me, and all you lot I might add?" I smirked at their stunned expressions.

"But Hermione, he's a teacher. You love teachers!" Harry told me.

"Yeah, but Snape's really stepped over the line this time. I mean, Acceptable? For that three foot essay I did on Wolfsbane! Come on! He hates me, and I think he needs to know what it's like to face the full wrath of Hermione Granger!" I built myself up to the end of my little speech, grinning around at them all whilst Ginny held back a snigger. I scowled at her.

"Ok, so what kind of things are you gonna do?" She snickered, "Give your homework in late?" The group laughed.

I grinned at them, looking up as Snape began to leave the high table.

"Ooh looks like it's time for my first prank!" I winked at them all before skidding off to hide in an alcove by the dungeons before Snape came out into the Entrance Hall. My heart jumped a little with nervousness. Hermione Granger? You're really going to do this?

Fuck it. He was a moody git and he deserved this.

I glimpsed Harry, Ron and Ginny walking innocently behind Snape.

I stuck out my foot.

Snape collided with it and stumbled, robes billowing around him as he cried out and fell flat on his face in front of dozens of students. Everyone started sniggering, trying desperately to hide their laughter as he picked himself up and spun around, his face slightly pink. The stunned group of students standing around him did their best to look innocent as he gave them all black looks.

"If I ever find out who did this," He said dangerously, "I will make it my personal vendetta to make them pay in ways they could never imagine…"

He gave a last glacial glare before billowing off and I came out of my hiding spot as everyone around me fell to pieces, laughing.

"Brilliant, Hermione!" Harry gasped as he collapsed on the floor.

"His face!" Ginny cackled.

"There's more to come boys." I grinned at them.

Not bad for a first prank, I thought, giggling at the memory of his appalled face. But this was only the beginning; I had many more tricks up my sleeves…


	3. Chapter 3

We walked along the corridor to Potions, Ron gaping at me with an awed expression on his freckly face.

"Ron, stop gawking, _please_. I know I'm attractive but seriously? It gets boring."

Harry snorted and Ron looked embarrassed.

"I'm just - I just - You're acting weird."

"No I'm not. I told you what I'm going to do, and I'll do it. Hermione Granger doesn't do things by halves."

The boys shrugged at each other and we entered the dingy classroom, sloping off to the back to slump into our usual seats. Snape swept into the room, shooting us all looks that could kill. He began to write up some complicated instructions on the board, digging the chalk in extra hard as if he was trying to make our ears bleed. Highly probable. After he'd finished, he glared over us all spitting, "Well, get on with it then!" and sat at his desk muttering about imbeciles.

The class rushed into action and I set to work, stirring and sweating over my sweltering cauldron until it was the required shade of fuchsia. I glanced over at Goyle's potion to see it congealing into a sludgy kind of brown. I shook my head. Moron.

Snape was on the case. He stalked over to the potion and quickly scourgified it with distaste.

"Good Gods Goyle. If you were twice as intelligent you'd still be a stupid prat. Detention. Tonight. See me after." Snape snapped at him.

I burst out laughing, clutching my sides and holding onto the rim of my cauldron for support. "Aha ha if you were twice as intelligent you'd still be stupid! Ha! Good one Snapey!" I feel on the floor laughing, the whole class silent, watching me in amazement as I clapped my hands in glee at Snape's feet. Harry and Ron were horrifed, mouthing "Snapey?" to each other and watching me rolling around on the ground.

"What did you call me?" He hissed at me, "Get up from the floor this instant. You can do detention tonight with Goyle. For the love of Merlin stop bloody laughing!"

I picked myself up off the floor, wiping tears from my eyes and gasped, "Ah, Sir, that was hilarious."

"Weasley, take Miss Granger to the Hospital Wing; she's obviously ill. Never in my years of teaching -"

"But I'm not ill, Sir! I was only laughing at your comment to Goyle, nothing like a bit of sarcasm to…" I trailed off as Snape's glare increased to an intensity that would give a Basilisk a run for his money and doing my best not to burst into peals of laughter again.

Snape's eyes narrowed.

"Class dismissed. Goyle, Granger, detention in my office tonight at 7pm. Get out of my sight."

.

"Hermione, what the fuck!" Ron cried, after we were a safe distance from the dungeons. "Are you sure you're ok? Maybe Snape's right and you should go to the Hospital Wing."

"Oh for god's sake Ron, chill out!" I told him, crossly, stuffing more books into my already overflowing bag.

"Well, I've decided this whole thing is bloody funny. Keep going Hermione, it's hilarious!" Harry patted me on the back and ran off to tell Ginny about my mad laughing fit.

I didn't see Snape for the rest of the day; he was probably lurking around his dungeons brewing up something dark and depressing to match his constant mood. At 7pm I made my way down to the dungeons, and knocked on Snape's office door.

"Enter," I heard his silky voice call. "Miss Granger, I'm afraid Goyle couldn't make it, as he has Quidditch practise with the Slytherin team. So, I want you to clear out the store cupboards, putting everything into the correct jars and labeling them."

I grinned at him happily and he narrowed his eyes at me.

"Go on then." He pointed to the cupboard.

I trotted off and began to organize the jars. I loved it. Organising things is so calming, honestly, all the labels and alphabetizing and making it look perfect. I peeked out of the cupboard to see Snape marking papers at his desk.

I began humming the tune to "On My Own" from Les Miserables, gradually increasing the volume until I burst into full-blown song, flinging my arms about, nearly shouting the lyrics.

"ON MY OWN, WITH NO ONE HERE BESIDE ME! ON MY OWN…" I made a particularly wild movement and knocked some ashwinder eggs off a shelf. "Fuck a bloody duck." I muttered as I bent down to scoop them up, finding myself face to face with the black boots of Severus Snape.

"As charming as that little rendition was, Miss Granger, it was completely off key and I'm afraid that if you continue with your… singing, I will have to silence you by any means possible." He shot me down a nasty grin, towering above me from my crouched position on the floor.

"Oh Professor, you thought it was charming!" I stood up with shining eyes, "Thank you so much! I'm thinking of joining the school choir and am happy for a truthful verdict for once. Harry and Ron have been telling me that I'm completely off and Ginny thinks- "

Suddenly I couldn't speak. He'd cast a silencing spell! That filthy little scumbag, I'd -

"Well Miss Granger, it sounds like you could do with all the practise you can get. How about next lesson you share your 'talents' with the class?" His smirk widened at my attempts to reply. "Now clear off, you've caused enough damage for one day."

I scampered out and once inside the Gryffindor common rooms, I regained my ability to speak, telling the gang everything, much to their amusement. Now, what was the next prank? And how was I to get out of singing to the whole class on Thursday?

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A/N: Ooh what could be next? ;) Have loads of great ideas lined up for this story, reviews are love! XD

Odile1001


	4. Chapter 4

"Miss Granger, to the front." Snape said silkily, a smirk on his pale face.

"Why, whatever for, Professor?" I said innocently, walking up to the front of the potions classroom to meet death by embarrassment. Of course, I knew he wouldn't have forgotten his promise to make me sing in front of my peers, and had slightly prepared with a potion.

"You know what for, Granger. Now, what little tune can you attempt to hold for us today? How about… a bit of Madonna? Or Stevie Wonder?" He smiled smugly, seemingly impressed at his knowledge of Muggle music.

I snorted. "Er, no. Anyways, I wouldn't want to put anyone down, embarrass them, you know?"

Snape glared at me.

"How about I just sit back down?" I smiled sweetly and skipped off back to my seat. The class were watching me with amusement, Lavender and Parvati tittering in the background.

"No! Up to the front. Now!" He said, dangerously.

Then I had a fabulous idea.

"Sure then, Snappers, just let me get Lavender and Parvati - they can be back up singers and dancers."

Snape spluttered about being called Snappers and efficiently deducted 10 points. I sighed, shaking my head at him. He looked at me with loathing.

"Well, Granger, what are you waiting for? Blow our minds with your extraordinary singing ability." The sarcasm dripped like poison and he moved his seat to get a better view of the spectacle that was about to unfold.

I whispered quickly to the girls and they gazed at me, impressed.

"Just follow my lead, ok? Let's dance!" I commanded, shooting a hand up in the air.

I waved my wand and the candles were transfigured into one giant disco ball and the beginning notes to Lady Gaga's 'I Like It Rough" rang out from Snape's cauldron.

"It's only for the atmosphere, Professor!" I said airily to his furious face, before turning to the class, ready to begin the song.

I pulled some poses at the front, whilst my back-ups did the same behind me.

I smirked at the class as I walked down the desks, singing to the song in a voice Christina Aguilera would be envious of. Lavender and Parvati stayed at the front, backing me up and pulling a few moves they'd obviously made up at some girly sleepover. I didn't need no sleepover. Of course, the "Craving-a-Croon" potion I'd taken just before the class helped a lot with my voice. The dance moves were all my own, however, and I spun back up the class back to my girls. Snape's face looked poisonous.

The class began to clap as I sang "I'm shiny and I know it, don't know why you wanna blow it, need a man who likes it rough, likes it rough, likes it rough" straight at Crabbe, pouting and pointing at him seductively. His look of horror could've competed with Snape's.

I laughed girlishly, going back to the chorus before finishing the song with a flick of my hair and a shower of sparks from my wand.

The Gryffindors erupted into applause and laughter, with a couple of the Syltherins who looked a bit shocked, but slightly impressed. Some of the muggle-borns began to mutter about Glee. I grinned modestly.

I bowed with Lavender and Parvati and returned to my chair, passing Malfoy, who whispered, "Want to go to Hogsmeade with Yours Truly next weekend then?" and giving me what he obviously thought was a charming wink. I glanced at Snape, who looked like he was about to throw up.

I smiled at him before saying, "Maybe some other time, Draco, I have a very busy schedule."

Harry and Ron clapped me on the back as I returned to them, Ron muttering about Malfoy and Harry wanting to know why I had never showed them my 'singing ability' before.

"Silence!" Snape barked. "Get out the lot of you. Granger, 20 points for disrupting the class!"

We walked out of the lesson, still high off my beautiful performance.

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A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. Please review :)

Odile1001 xx


	5. Chapter 5

The following few potions lessons passed without incident. Snape seemed a little dumbfounded at my outburst and was keeping his moody head down. At dinner times I caught him watching me suspiciously as I laughed with my friends and acted super casual. Me and my poker face, wink wink.

One downside to my whole singstar moment of glory was that Malfoy was coming on to me at every opportunity. At first I was flattered; he was pretty damn gorgeous, but still a dickhead. Soon the sweet chat up lines he used turned to nastier, bitchier comments and I was getting pissy.

"Oi, Granger, come to the Room of Requirement tonight and I'll show you how rough I can really get; I heard you like it like that!" He called at me, groping my bum as I passed him, on my way out of the Great Hall after breakfast.

"Piss off, you slimy git." Harry muttered to him, with Ron shooting him daggers.

I flicked them the finger whilst stalking away haughtily.

Malfoy and his gang "Oooh-ed" and Aaah-ed" and I had gotten sick of it. I turned, wand raised. The bat-bogey hex I quickly cast knocked Malfoy off his feet; sticky, swampy bogies attacking his face. I walked casually over and crouched beside him.

"Grope me again, Malfoy, and the next hex will be a hell of a lot worse."

I grinned at the cackling first years Malfoy had been terrorizing before he'd grabbed me. They skittered off as Snape rounded the courner.

"Well, well, well…" He said silkily, removing the hex and looking accusingly at the three of us. "10 points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger; I know it was you, and detention with Filch on Monday."

I fell at his knees, sobs racking my body. Malfoy and Snape looked at me like I was mad.

"P-please Professor, not detention! I just don't know what's going on with me at the moment! I think I'm a bit hormonal! I'm under a lot of pressure, just leave me alone all of you!" I cried.

Throwing my hands above my head wildly, I scooted off, tears streaming out of my scrunched up eyes and occasionally crying out "Detention!" and "Snape!" at random points down the corridor, still in earshot of the Potions Master.

.

Later on in the common room, I got Ron and Harry to describe Snape's face to me.

"He looked like he'd just seen two flobberworms doing it!" Ron cried with glee.

"Or McGonagall on the loo!" Harry chuckled.

We laughed together for a little while until calming down enough to eat a few Bertie Bott's.

"So, what's the next plan, Hermione?" Harry asked, taking a curry flavoured bean and spitting it out quickly.

"Well, you'll just have to see next lesson, but it'll be a good one, I promise." I winked at them before going to bed.

.

Monday came and went, and I did my detention with Filch without complaint, him watching me as I happily dusted off the manacles in his office. His eyes narrowed as I began to hum, but he didn't say anything. I like to think he found my little Adele number quite enjoyable, actually. After I'd finished cleaning his office I left, skipping off.

.

The next day, I had potions.

I went down to breakfast and waited until Snape had just entered the Great Hall, about to eat before sprinting down to the dungeons. I had work to do. I entered the classroom quietly, and found the shelf under his desk I had been looking for. I looked around, checking for any watching eyes and put my plan into action. I scuttled off, back to the boys, smirking smugly at my perfect little scheme.

Later in potions, I was waiting for my opportunity, Harry and Ron shooting expectant glances at me every few seconds.

"Oh, bloody hell, stop looking at me, or Snape'll clock I'm up to something!" I hissed, glaring at them before studiously returning to my work.

Snape droned on and on, recounting the uses for this and that and whatnot. I obediently took notes, paying attention, biding my time. He finally finished his speech and before he could tell us to get on with our potions I burst into rapturous applause.

The whole class turned to look at me, sniggering as I brushed a fake tear from my eyes, still clapping enthusiastically and crying "Brilliant, Professor, simply brilliant!"

His eyes narrowed at me.

"Miss Granger, come here this instant." He glared.

Exactly what I had been hoping for. I made my way up to the front of the desk, still brushing away my tears and sighing "Brilliant." As I got to the desk, my tears stopped and I let a slightly horrified expression cross my face. He looked at me in confusion.

"What now?" Snape snapped.

"Holey Moley, professor! Is that… is that a _porno_?" I gasped, swiping the offending magazine from the shelf under his desk. The class burst into laughter as I held up the X-rated copy of "Potions and Pussies" which showed a busty blonde on the cover, legs spread, wantonly bearing all in front of a bubbling cauldron.

Snape, appalled, snatched it out of my hands and looked down at it in outrage. His face turned purple.

"Miss Granger, what is the meaning of this?" He spat quietly, the whole class biting their tongues in anticipation.

"Hey, don't accuse me! You're the one reading smut under your desk! What would Mother Snape think?" I looked at him, shock and horror on my innocent little face.

He stood still, face changing colour, eyes bulging and knuckles white. I could see that he was visibly trying not to hit me. The magazine crumbled to dust in his fingers and his hands made fists. Oh shit. Keep it cool, Hermione, keep it cool, he's not going to hit you… hopefully…

I cowered as his temple started to throb. The whole class was silent and the only sound was Snape practically spitting with rage.

Then I whispered, "I'll just sit back down…" and scurried off to my desk. My eyes darted to the door, and I tried to decide whether or not I should peg it.

"If I hear one sound from anyone they will be hexed into next year and back before being thrown out of the window, head first." He hissed.

"But - but Sir, there is no window. We're in the dungeons." I said in an Oh-you're-so-silly-sometimes kind of way. Had I pushed it too far?

Snape didn't reply. His eyes seemed to be glazed with fury. The class was barely breathing. Then the bell rang and we all sprinted for it, shoving each other out of the way in an attempt to be out of the door as soon as possible.

The class rampaged down the corridors, with the occasional shout of "Fucking hell, Hermione!"

Then Neville piped up with, "He looked like he was severely constipated. Needs some You-Know-Poo if you ask me."

The surrounding students burst into uncontrollable laughter and Neville looked thoroughly pleased with himself. Bless his little red Remembrall.

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed, please review.

Odile1001


	6. Chapter 6

The Christmas holidays were soon approaching and I decided straight away to stay at Hogwarts. Much more fun here then camping in the cold with my parents. Shudder.

The last few lessons were an absolute joke.

Snape stalked into the classroom and the Christmas cheer quickly dissolved. The door was slammed magically behind him and he glared around the class fixing his steely eyes on me for a few seconds longer than the rest. I winked at him.

He noticeably flinched with alarm, eyes widened. Then he seemed to shake himself and sat down, telling us to open our textbooks, read 10 pages then answer the questions. I set to work and after five minutes of reading, glanced up to see him looking at me, eyes narrowed. He quickly looked away. I smirked and continued reading.

After another few minutes I looked up to catch him scowling at me again. I winked once more, smiling and looking as if I knew something he didn't. His eyes were glowering slits. I went back to my book, turned the page with a sharp tug and ripped it slightly.

"Oopsies!" I shout-whispered, while the class smirked at me.

I looked back up at Snape, whose glare had, astonishingly, increased. I winked again, this time a cheery, cute one. His lips thinned, fists clenched and I quickly went back to the text.

I did anything I could to disrupt the class; sneezing and coughing so badly Ron had to clap me on the back several times. Then I dropped my quill and spilt my ink all over Parvati's neat piece of parchment.

"Sorry!" I smiled, shrugging and I quickly _scourgified_ the mess.

I glanced up again and winked, seductively this time. Snape shot me a satisfied smirk as I realized what he had done. My eye twitched. And kept on twitching. I bet I looked like cat with something in its eye, twitching and swiping at it, trying to bat it away. My head moved stupidly with the spasms and I was drawing attention from the whole class. Soon they were all giggling at me, pointing. I glared as best I could at Snape, who was sat watching with a triumphant smile plastered over his evil pasty face. Fuck him.

"Oh bloody hell!" I cried, as the twitching increased to a rapid pace, leaving me virtually blind.

"5 points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger, for inappropriate language." Snape said silkily from his desk. "Miss Granger, have you got something in your eye?" He asked, with a hint of sarcastic concern. "Maybe Potter should take you to the Hospital Wing, Madam Pomfrey may be able to help this...condition?"

I twitched again, accidentally head-butting Ron who shoved me off him.

"Fuck's sake, Snape, stop the spell!" I yelped, eye still spasming.

"Why, Miss Granger, whatever could you mean? And another 10 points for consistent bad language." Now he was the one acting all innocent. Well fuck him very much.

I gathered my things to go to the Hospital Wing with Harry, making sure that as I passed Snape's desk I knocked off an inkpot.

"Another 5 points, for clumsiness." He said, in a velvet voice, then grasped my arm and pulled me swiftly towards his desk. He leant over to me, ebony eyes glinting. For a second I thought he was going to kiss me, but he inclined his head towards my ear. "Smell that, Granger? That is the smell of your failure. And it's stinking up my classroom. Get out of my sight."

I sighed, still jerking as I left.

Madam Pomfrey quickly fixed me up and I thanked her, rubbing my tired eye. She told me it was just a simple jinx and to get on my way to my next lesson.

What a twat Snape was. I'd have to get him for this, and get him good…

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A/N: Not as long as the last chapter, but I really enjoyed writing this one, you may have noticed that excellent Sue Sylvester reference ^.^ Any reviews are greatly appreciated.

Odile1001


	7. Chapter 7

As students left for the Christmas holidays, the school was decorated for the festivities. Professor Flitwick charmed the angels on top of colossal fir trees to sing carols and candles of all different colours floated along the corridors. Icicles decorated doorways and in the Great Hall, everything was glittering camply. I simply loved it.

Snape, however, was in a noticeably darker mood than usual, vanishing the twinkling fairy lights someone, i.e. me, had draped around the door to his office and stamping angrily on a piece of tinsel that someone, i.e. me, had managed to stick permanently on the bottom of his shoe.

The only students left in the school were Harry, Ron and I, along with a Slytherin first year and two Ravenclaws.

On Christmas day, I skipped into the boys' rooms, waking them up with a happy "Merry Christmas!" They bounced out of bed, ripping open their presents with enthusiasm.

"Oh excellent, the Dursley's have given me a copy of The Highway Code! Blimey, they really pushed the boat out this year!" said Harry, carelessly chucking the book onto a spare bed.

In a brilliant mood, we made our way down to the Great Hall at lunchtime, ready to stuff our faces full of turkey. We saw that, as in third year, there was only one table again, and to my delight there was a spare seat next to my favourite Professor. I plonked myself down next to Snape, who pointedly ignored me. Professor Trelawney was sat opposite him and Dumbledore was on his other side.

Dumbledore leant across Snape to wish my friends and I a jovial "Merry Christmas" and then began talking to McGonagall. The food appeared and we began to tuck in, Snape the first to take a slice of Turkey.

"No! Severus!" Trelawney suddenly shrieked, pointing at the turkey. "My inner eye tells me, that if you are the first to eat the turkey, it is possible that…"

She trailed off as Snape purposefully dropped a large slice onto his plate without comment. He was looking thoroughly pissed off. She shook her head miserably, beads rattling and jingling about.

"Severus, care to pull a cracker with me?" Dumbledore asked him merrily, eyes twinkling. Snape glumly grabbed the end Dumbledore wasn't holding and pulled. The cracker exploded with a 'BANG!' and Snape was showered with glitter. Dumbledore chuckled.

"Well, read out the joke, dear boy!" He cried chirpily.

"Oooh yes!" I piped up, looking up at him with a ruptured expression.

Snape glared at me with loathing, sighed and began to read, disgust all over his face, "Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?"

Dumbledore and I both said "Who?" simultaneously.

Snape closed his eyes briefly, as if composing himself.

"Santa Jaws."

I burst out laughing, slamming my fist on the table and glancing up in delight to see him looking at me with hatred. Dumbledore chuckled merrily. I composed myself, wiping the tears from my eyes and grabbing his party hat, sticking it on his head swiftly before he could object.

Dumbledore chortled at his miserable expression and began to eat a roast potato.

Snape looked like he was going to blow.

Before he could do anything drastic, I chipped in with, "Oh Professor, you don't like the hat? You're such a grinch!" I pouted at him unhappily, whilst Professor McGonagall snorted with laughter, then I said, "Never fear, Hermione's here! I'll get rid of it!"

I flourished my wand extravagently, setting the hat alight. Snape's look of horror as his hat burst into flames on top of his head was one I'll never forget. The flames licked up the hat, before meeting his hair. I gasped in shock as his hair began to smoke, then Dumbledore turned around, probably because he had noticed that McGonagall was no longer listening to his tale about the Mermaids he had met on a holiday to the Bahamas. McGonagall began sniggering as Severus's hair caught alight.

Suddenly, a small fountain of water burst out of Dumbledore's wand, arcing towards Snape. The fire on his head quickly went out, leaving a glaring, soaking wet man sat beside me.

"Oh deary me, Severus!" Dumbledore said, a twinkle in his eye, "You're a little wet now. I'm dreadfully sorry!"

I giggled as Snape rose from his chair, one side of his hair a little shorter than the other and still smoking slightly. He tried, and failed, to look authoritative before shooting a furious look at me.

McGonagall couldn't hold her tongue. "Well, Severus, it looks like you forgot your constant vigilance just then." She said and went back to innocently nibbling on a leek.

Snape wasn't able to talk. He just spat out single syllables lividly, before sweeping off to his dungeons. The table burst out laughing, Trelawney muttering, "I tried to tell him his life may be at risk! I did try!"

.

A/N: I thoroughly enjoyed writing this one! XD

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, they are greatly appreciated, and if you have any ideas about what could happen next, especially what Snape could do back to Hermione, I'd be really grateful ^.^

Thanks, Odile1001


	8. Chapter 8

From that moment on, we came to an understanding that this was war. When we passed each other in the corridors we shot glares at each other, yet to find the next prank.

I found out Snape's stunt soon enough.

One cold and frosty January morning, when classes had recommenced, I woke up feeling… strange. My head felt heavier, and as I rose, I could feel my hair moving of it's own accord. Of it's own accord? What?

I ran over to the mirror, Lavender waking up and shrieking in terror at the sight of me. _What the fuck had he done…?_

I let rip a scream that would wake the whole castle. Instead of my usual bushy brown hair, I was faced with livid green serpents. I was medusa. He'd transfigured my hair into snakes. They began to hiss as they looked at their reflections in the mirror, narrow eyes curious. What the fuck had he done!

I stormed out of Gryffindor tower, taking shortcuts down to the dungeons and ending up in front of Snape's office. I threw open the door, raging. The snakes started hissing for extra effect.

"SNAPE!" I roared, crossing his office in large strides, "Where the _fuck_ have you gone!"

Then I saw him, coming out from behind a bookshelf and wearing a black dressing gown, which fell just below his knees. His hair was slightly mussed up and he was yawning, blinking at me blearily. I tried to pull myself together, _(he's not hot, he's not hot… oh my! his legs!) _only to discover I was still in my pajamas. Oh pissing hell! I'd just stormed across the castle in a tiny vest and shorts. I wasn't even wearing a bra for fuck's sake! Then, my rage returned and I looked daggers at him again.

"What the hell have you done to my hair?" I hissed, eyes narrowed, fists clenched.

He began to chuckle. Severus Snape chuckled. I realized what a mess I must look - no make up, no bra, _hissing hair_.

"Why-why have you done this?" I said, taken back by his bitchy laugh.

"Miss Granger, you set my hair on fire." He said simply. He pulled himself together before chortling away again.

"But that was an _accident!" _I cried, throwing my hands up in the air, only to be bitten by a particularly nasty snake. "You bitch! I can't believe you've done this! I've been bitten! Reverse the spell right now! Are they poisonous?" I shouted at him, holding out my arm for him to inspect the two tiny fang marks that were bleeding slightly. He chuckled again and brought out his wand. He muttered an incantation and my normal hair was back, as bushy as ever.

"We both know that's bullshit, Granger. You are anything but innocent in this case. Now take this because yes, they are slightly poisonous." He handed me a little vial, which I downed in one, shuddering at the sour flavour. As if he'd just said bullshit. Ha! Never thought I'd see the day when I'd hear a Professor swear…

"You'd better get back up to your common room right now; you look a mess and don't think I can stand you in my office for one second more, otherwise I may vomit." He smiled at me smugly.

"That is so unnecessary! I haven't even done anything for fuck's sake! You're the one who changed my hair into bloody great snakes!" I shrieked at him. He smirked.

"10 points for inappropriate language. Now piss off." His smirk widened as I flounced off. Inappropriate language! He'd just told me to piss off! I'd show him! Just you wait…

I made my way back up to the common room, suddenly spying Malfoy and Blaise a few meters away. I jumped behind a statue to listen; it sounded like an argument. I peeped out to see Malfoy being held by the collar of his shirt by Blaise, who had raised his fist, obviously threatening to punch the smaller blonde.

They'd make quite a good couple, I decided, Malfoy's pale complexion and white blonde hair, next to Blaise's darker skin tone, sultry gaze and muscles. Mmmm. However, Blaise wasn't looking quite so sultry at that particular moment, ready to punch the lights out of his fellow Slytherin.

"_What _did you just call me?" Blaise said dangerously, nose to nose with Malfoy.

"B-but! No, Blaise I didn't mean it like that! I mean, I like people of all colours! It's like a rainbow!"

Oh sweet Merlin. That stupid prick. Jeez did I hate his guts.

I stalked out from behind the statue just a Blaise brought his outraged knuckles into contact with Draco's nose, which broke with a sickening crack. Serves him bloody right, I thought, as I strutted past, still in my shorts and vest, head held high. Malfoy glanced at me bug eyed.

"Granger, Granger help me! I'm being attacked!" He cried, as Blaise brought back his hand one more time.

"What? Did I hear something?" I looked around fake-confused and went on my way as he screamed "You know you want me!" at my back. It's hard being so attractive. I snorted to myself and entered the portrait hole.

.

During the next potions lesson I had, there was ample opportunity for jokes, and boy did I jump on them.

Snape was describing the uses of some rare ingredient and I was taking notes carefully. My ear pricked up as he said, "You have to be fast putting it in; it usually hardens with contact to the air."

Ha, I had him!

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" I practically screamed, and Snape's face turned from calm to furious in a matter of nanoseconds.

"50 points from Gryffindor, Granger, and detention tomorrow!" He bellowed, as the class sniggered.

I put my nose back down to the grindstone and began to write notes again, glancing up every now and then to see Snape scowling at me lividly. After he had finished his dictation, we were set to work, brewing a Draught of Living Death potion.

I gathered up my ingredients and began, the class silent in concentration. Occasionally Snape berated a student for stirring the wrong number of times, mostly Neville, of course, who's disastrous potion was far too thin. Snape loomed over him as it began to spit and hiss. Neville began to put in some batwings and Snape looked like he was on tenterhooks. I knew, being a bright spark and all, that if he did this correctly he would save the potion; if not, we were all doomed.

"Class, step back!" Snape said authoritatively, and we obediently left Neville's side. "Now, Neville, put it in slowly and carefully…"

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" I yelled as loud as possible, and in his laughter, Neville suddenly dropped the batwings in the potion. His cauldron rocked violently before falling over completely, and his potion spilt like a great yellow wave.

"Surf's up, sir!" I hollered, as Snape dived out of the way.

Everyone jumped onto stools to escape the acidic mess that quickly began to cover the floor, still hissing and spitting. Snape was utterly livid.

"100 points from Gryffindor!" He shrieked at Neville and I, who were gasping for breath from laughing so much. Wow, a record, I thought. 100 points gone in one lesson for me. 150 from Gryffindor if you counted Neville's fair share. Blimey.

"Get out!" He wailed, _"GET OUT!"_

I quickly cleaned up the mess with a flick of my wand, and the class charged out of the room before you could shout _"Merlins Baggy Boxers"._

.

A/N: Aaw Neville, bless him :L My longest chapter yet!

Thanks for the help with the medusa idea, Amusant, I loved it! XD

Any reviews and ideas are welcome!

Thanks, Odile1001


	9. Chapter 9

Snape was looking haggard. There was no other word for it. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was hanging lanker than ever. I was thoroughly enjoying his misery. Apparently, so was everyone else in the castle, and there had been talk of other pranks on him apart from my own. Snape still had authority in his lessons, but his reputation was definitely suffering. People whispered about him losing the plot, and that he was thinking of quitting.

When I heard the whole quitting rumour I felt a little bad, but as I knew from my time at Hogwarts, these rumours were barely ever true.

It was the middle of January and Ginny and I were eating our dinner, talking about her newest boyfriend. I noticed Snape watching me wearily as he finished off his pork chops. Ginny chatted away at me until I saw Snape going for the cookies.

"One sec Ginny," I muttered, before standing up dramatically. "_NO BATBOY!" _I cried, pointing at Snape's cookie, and drawing the attention of the whole Hall. "Food is not your friend! Come one, Sevster, we've talked about this! You've really been piling on the pounds after Christmas and you know '_not eating light makes your clothes too tight!'"_ I sighed shaking my head disappointedly, before carrying on, "_Now, DROP THAT COOKIE!"_

Snape looked utterly miserable. Dumbledore chuckled merrily beside him before saying, "You know Severus, I think Miss Granger's right; you have put on a little bit of weight." His blue eyes twinkled at me and Snape closed his eyes briefly before placing the cookie down on the table. He stood up and swept over to me, bending down so we were nearly nose to nose.

"Granger. What will it take for you to leave me in peace?" He spoke softly, his breath tickling my face.

I pretended to be deep in thought for a moment before saying, "If I leave you alone can Gryffindor have 10,000 points?"

He breathed heavily through his nose, before giving out a cry of frustration and billowing away.

"Aaaw, I'm beginning to feel a little sorry for him." Ginny pouted, looking after him with a pathetic look on her face.

I snorted. "Well I'm not. I'm really enjoying this. Think of all the times he's been mean. You'll get over your sympathy."

We went back to eating, gossiping about Ginny's guy again.

.

The next day I carried on pissing him off, calling "When did your hair lose its volume? I think you need some Pantene, Sir; it does wonders!" after him in the corridor. He pointedly ignored me as the students around him snickered.

In the potions lesson, he swept in, taking 10 points from Neville for being late.

"Well, _someone's_ on his period." I hissed loudly across the class.

Snape's eyes glittered furiously. He looked at me for a few seconds before saying, "Hmm, points don't seem to matter to you any more, Miss Granger. I think I'll have to punish you with, what I like to call, detention."

I sniggered. "Actually, Sir, I think _everyone_ calls it detention." I looked at him like he was the stupidest man I'd ever seen in my life.

His face contorted with rage, eyes narrowing and lips thinning dangerously. He stood at the front of the class for a few seconds, seeming to mentally count to ten. Then he sat down at his desk, like nothing had happened.

"My office, 7 o'clock." He said, without glancing up at me.

The lesson continued without further interruption; I thought it best to leave him alone for a bit.

.

I stood outside Snape's office, waiting purposefully until I was five minutes late. Suddenly, the door was flung open by the man himself and he towered over me, glaring.

"How long were you going to wait here, Granger, before plucking up the courage to come inside. Not very Gryffindor of you, was it?" He smirked. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh come on, I was waiting until I was late." I stalked past him, brushing against his chest. It was actually quite hard and masculine; he seemed to be hiding a lot under those layers of his. I would have thought him to be geekily skinny, but from what I could gather, he was pretty goddamn toned. I flung myself into the seat in front of his desk and he sat down opposite me gracefully.

He contemplated me for a moment, deep in thought. He was actually quite attractive, despite his pale complexion. He had a good voice too. A really good voice…

"Why are you tormenting me?" He said suddenly, looking at me curiously.

I sighed theatrically then looked up at him through my eyelashes. "Well, Professor, the truth is, I've had a wild crush on you since third year." I looked at his horrorstruck features before bursting out laughing. "Ahaha, I'm just messing with you, just kidding!" I gasped, between cackles.

He sighed with relief, then gave me a piercing look that made me stop laughing.

"You're not going to stop, are you?"

I shrugged, smirking. "Nope."

"Ok then, Miss Granger, I want to make a bet. If I can't stop you by, say, the end of this month, you will owe me 50 galleons and be in detention until you finish school."

Hmmm… no chance is he going to stop me, this is way too fun!

"Sure, but if I win, I get to continue annoying you until I finish school, and you'll owe _me_ 50 galleons. You're never going to win you know." I smiled smugly at him, and then offered my hand across the desk for him to shake.

We shook. His hands were large and manly, and they enveloped my small palm easily.

I left his office. Only 10 days until I was 50 galleons richer...

.

A/N: Ok, sorry I've taken longer than usual to update, been really busy and ill :( Got any ideas about what Snape could do to Hermione to win the bet? Any help would be great ^.^ Now it's the Christmas holidays, so hopefully I'll be able to concentrate on writing a bit more.

Thanks, Odile1001


	10. Chapter 10

His lips crashed down on mine and I brought my head up to deepen the kiss. He pushed me against the wall, lifting me up and pressing between my legs. Oh sweet baby Jesus, from what I could feel he was big; really big. Hands caught me under my arms and he carried me away, my legs wrapped around his narrow hips. He swept all the papers off his desk before placing me on top. His coal black eyes pierced mine for several seconds before we were kissing again, and his hand clasped mine as I was pinned to the desk. Suddenly, my bra was gone with his shirt and I smirked my approval at his toned chest. Then, he had quickly undone his belt and I gasped my appreciation as he…

Oh pissing hell. What the fuck was that? I thought, as I woke up, breathing heavily and feeling a bit faint. Coal black eyes? Me? Desk? What? I wildly looked about, incase anyone was watching me dream. Then I spied Ginny, who was smirking in the doorway.

"Good dream, Hermione?" She asked, barely holding back her laugh.

"No." I said shortly and began to grab my clothes for a shower.

"Well, it sure looked like you were enjoying yourself." She raised a Snape-like (_No, stop thinking about him_) eyebrow and continued mischievously, "So, who were you dreaming about then?"

"None of your business." I spat at her, before stomping out, thoroughly pissed off. I could just tell it was going to be a fantastic day. Especially seeing as I had double potions this afternoon. Fuck my bloody life.

After showering, I went down to breakfast, meeting up with Ron and Harry on the way to the Great Hall.

"Alright, Hermione?" Ron asked tentatively. I was obviously looking pretty pissy.

I nodded and sat down at the table, grabbing some toast and nibbling on the corner. Breakfast was pretty quiet that morning, and we finished quickly, about to go to Charms.

"I'll meet you in there, I just need to go to the bathroom." I stalked away from my friends.

After checking my appearance in the smudgy mirrors, I began to make my way up to the classroom, kids giggling at me all the way there. Oh, what the hell _now?_

Snape passed me and I felt a twinge in my stomach. No, Hermione, no! Stop thinking about him like that… just because that dream was hot, doesn't mean he is… or is he? Mmm, coal black eyes... wait, what?

Snape smirked at me as he swept along, scattering students who dived out of his way.

I entered the classroom. The whole class burst out laughing as I made my way through the desks to where my friends were sat. I shot a glare at them all and sat down next to Harry.

"Um, Hermione…" He began carefully.

"What?" I snapped, getting out my books and slamming them on the desk.

"Well, I think your skirt's tucked into… well…" His face reddened and he glanced down warningly.

I reached behind myself to find my skirt completely tucked into my knickers at the back. Fucking fabulous. This reeked of the Potion Master himself. Well fuck him.

I subtly untucked my skirt and frantically thought about what underwear I was wearing. Hopefully not my mouldy Mr Men ones that I'd had forever or that lacey crimson thong that Ginny had got me as a laugh… I quickly checked. Excellent. Great. Smashing. Hello there, Little Miss _fucking_ Sunshine. Bugger; he'd probably seen them too.

I just knew this day was going to be great. Not.

.

After lunch we went down to the dungeons. Snape was sat at the front of the class and he immediately deducted points from Harry for being late.

"My, my Potter. I highly doubt Gryffindor is going to win the House Cup at this rate; minus points isn't it now?" He said silkily, before ordering us to our seats.

"Now, today we will be brewing a Shrinking Solution -"

I made a big show of rolling my eyes. "Fuck this shit! Let's brew us up some glory! Or maybe we could bottle fame! That sounds like an awesome little trick. Plus, you promised in_ first_ year…"

I smirked at him; the class were giggling and he looked positively enraged at my interruption.

"Well, Sir, Why not?" I raised my eyebrow at him insolently.

"Oooh yes Sir, I want to put a stopper on death!"

"Or I could get rich! Fame and fortune? Sounds great!"

The whole class began agreeing on what to brew while Snape glared at me with fury in his black eyes.

"SILENCE!" He bellowed and the students were all quiet. "We will be making a Shrinking Solution and that is final."

A few pupils groaned in disappointment and he began to write up the ingredients.

"Rat spleens" He said, scratching it onto the board with his wand.

"Well done for thinking of that, I might have forgotten!" I whispered.

He turned around to give me a death glare.

"Leech juice" he muttered as he wrote it.

"Mmm tasty!" I said, a little louder.

Snape paused and turned around, giving me a piercing look. Oh fucking hell; my insides seemed to jump as I remembered my dream.

"Miss Granger, do you have anything to say?" His voice was like velvet.

I meekly shook my head and got to work. I piped down until I heard Snape berating Neville.

"Longbottom! What on Earth do you think you're doing? You moronic imbecile!" He quickly vanished Neville's mess and turned around to glower at the class.

"Now, Sir!" I scolded, wagging my finger at him with a slight smile. "That was unnecessary! I think you need some time on the naughty step…"

His lips thinned as he surveyed me angrily.

"Miss Granger, I advise you to get out of my class as quickly as your stubby little legs will carry you, before I turn you into a Star-nosed Mole."

He watched me as I scooped up my books and strutted towards the dungeon door, head held high.

"I'm going to win, _Snapey_, and you know it." I whispered as I went past him, breaking out into a run and skidding through the door just as a jet of bright orange light crashed into the wall over my head.

I ran away cackling.

.

A/N: Sorry for the slow update, I've been super busy with Christmas and all. Thanks so much to BellasBeingBad for the knickers idea! *High five* =^.^=

Merry Christmas pretty people!

Odile1001


	11. Chapter 11

I pouted at my food. Mouldy again? Uuurgh. Ron looked over at my plate and wrinkled his nose.

"Hermione, that is rank! Get it away now!" He said, as he continued to gobble up his dinner.

I placed a carrot onto my plate, well away from the gruesome potato that was slowly disintegrating. It immediately began to grow a fuzz. Ew, ew, ew! I growled in frustration, I was bloody hungry! I glanced up to the teacher's table, narrowing my eyes as I watched Snape innocently eating a parsnip. His eyes met mine and he smirked. Annoying bastard.

I picked up a piece of beef from Ginny's plate and watched helplessly as it fell apart on my fork.

Sighing with irritation I pushed away my plate and stomped off to my Head Girl's rooms. On the way out a bin was magically tipped over my head. Snickers erupted around me and I felt as if I was about to vomit. First the mould on my dinner, now this? Urgh! Covered in a repulsive mix of yoghurt, banana skins and lettuce I tried to regain my dignity by shouting, "Ha-bloody-ha very fucking funny. Almost as funny as Snape dancing the hula in a grass skirt!"

Picking an empty pumpkin juice carton from my clothes, I quickly transfigured old Snapey's clothing. The teachers tried to contain their laughter as Snape screamed in horror. The students turned their sniggers towards the Potions Master as they took in the floral Hawaiian lei garland hanging from his neck. He stood up in anger, revealing a short grass skirt. He also revealed a pale toned chest, completed by a thin black line of hair, which disappeared underneath the grass skirt. Woah, who knew that he could look so good? And in a Hawaiian skirt too…

"Nice get up, Sir!" Yelled a brave student, as the Great Hall burst into uncontrollable giggles. My grimy state was forgotten as I added a shell bra to complete the look.

"Oooh, wear it on a night out!" Another pupil called. Dean Thomas wolf-whistled.

Snape bared his teeth at me and lunged across the table, ready to hex me into the next century. Dumbledore pulled his employee back by the clasp of his bra and stole the garland, chuckling merrily and putting it over his own head. The colours clashed nicely with Dumbledore's rich purple robes and he twinkled around at the students.

Snape transfigured his clothes back and stormed towards me, knocking me over as he swept past. Unfortunately, I fell into the bin. My legs hung over the edge and the whole thing started to rock violently. I yelled out as it tipped over, landing me in a heap on the floor.

Looking around at the students who were by now in stitches, I tried to regain some dignity, brushing a yoghurt pot from the top of my head. I swept out of the Great Hall in a manner much like Snape's, _scourgifying_ the mess all over me.

Humph. Well, that was unexpected. By now, I figured we were pretty much both even. I'd just have to ramp it up a notch in tomorrow's Potions…

.

I entered Snape's class 5 minutes late, and he deducted 10 points immediately. I slumped into a chair near the back and unpacked my bag, haphazardly throwing my books over my desk. Snape pointedly ignored me.

He took the register.

"Granger!" He barked halfway through.

I shivered, closing my eyes as if in ecstasy and groaned "Oh, say my name again, sir!"

The class twittered and I opened one of my eyes to catch Snape glaring at me, slightly red around his ears.

"Silence!" He all but screamed getting back to the register, the class once again in quiet, casting curious looks at me. Hermione Granger, the bad girl. I kind of liked it.

I laid my head down on the desk, pretending to fall asleep. I let out a soft snore, earning another rumble of laughter from the class. Snape seemed to be trying not to pay any attention to me, halfway through a monologue on Polyjuice Potion.

I heard the class's laughter die down and listened to the faint sound of an approaching Potions Master, eyes still closed. I felt a firm, warm hand on my wrist and decided to strike. I bit his arm, hard.

He yelled out, pulling his limb from my ferocious grip. "Granger! This is the last straw!" He warned pulling out his wand.

I let go of his arm and raised a sultry eyebrow at him. "Why professor, does that mean… _detention_?" I licked my lips, tilting my head towards him and the class snickered again.

"GET OUT!" Snape roared, pointing his wand at me like a lunatic and making my books fly out of the classroom. I calmly got out of my seat, and then said agreeably, "I think you owe me 50 galleons."

I stalked out of his lesson, smirking at him, as he turned purple with rage.

.

A/N: So sorry for the years of not updating :/ Oops. I'm trying to think of more things for Snape to do back to Hermione, if anyone has any ideas I'd be really grateful :) Thanks for reading, reviews make me happy ^.^

Odile1001 xxx


	12. Chapter 12

"Miss Granger, a word in my office, please."

I looked up from my lunch to find Professor Dumbledore twinkling his blue eyes above me. I quickly ate the last bit of my sandwich and stood up, saying, "Certainly, Sir."

I followed him up to his office, past the gargoyle and up the stairs. Waiting in the room was none other than my pal, Snape. He glared at me and I glared right back. I took the seat next to him, narrowing my eyes at him before pleasantly looking at Dumbledore. The Headmaster sat opposite us and clasped his hands on the desk between us, his eyes light with laughter.

"As we all know, you two are having a spot of bother with each other. That's right isn't it?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes flickering between Snape and I.

In response Snape gave me a look worthy of a Basilisk and I smiled innocently back at him.

"Headmaster," Snape began at the same time as I said "Professor."

We gave each other scathing looks before repeating ourselves, again, in sync. We looked at one another, eyes narrowed.

"Granger, I'm talking!" Snape snapped as I said, witheringly, "Will you shut up!"

"You see!" We said together at Dumbledore, who sat observing us politely. Fawkes the phoenix fluttered over from his perch and sat next to Dumbledore, tilting his head at us quizzically.

"Well, well, well." The Headmaster said thoughtfully. "I think you'll just need to agree to disagree. I have heard from many students about your lessons, Severus, they are getting out of control and Miss Granger I expected to see a little more maturity from the Head Girl. I don't want to hear any more of these pranks, regardless of how amusing they are. However, I did think the grass skirt was inspired. Professor McGonagall was very impressed by your transfiguration. A little bird also told me," Dumbledore continued, absent-mindedly stroking Fawkes, "that you have a bet going on. Is this true, Severus?"

Dumbledore peered over his spectacles at Snape like he was a naughty schoolboy. I raised my eyebrows at my potions professor and smirked as Snape sat sullenly.

"Look at her, Dumbledore! Just look at her, fucking know-it-all, good-for-nothing Gryffindor!" Snape spat.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at the same time I did.

"Um, excuse _me. _You had the grand idea of a bet in the first place! Greasy dungeon bat. I wouldn't even lend you my books. Bloody stupid, arrogant, Slytherin…" I muttered to myself as Snape glowered and Dumbledore twinkled.

"Anyway, all bets are off. Behave yourselves you two… now hug and make up." Dumbledore peered over his glasses at us again. "Well go on, I've always found it's the best way of ending silly squabbles."

We glared at each other again before getting to our feet and embracing.

"I will destroy you, Snape." I whispered, imagining myself as some kind of super villain. My cheek was resting on his chest and I felt miniature compared to him. I found that I was kind of liking this; Snape felt all warm and safe, a good snuggler. Ha-bloody-ha.

"I am about to vomit down your back." Snape replied before ending the contact. Well, I hoped my hair was extra big today so that it got in his stupid face. Dumbledore looked on and said happily, "Now isn't that better?"

Outside the office, Severus towered over me. "Well, I hope you're happy. This is all_ your_ fault." He snarked.

"Oh shut up." I scowled up at him and began to stalk off. Suddenly he grabbed my arms and pinned me against the wall.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Snape hissed at me, "You've always been the teacher's pet, class know-it-all, irritating me with questions and suggestions and generally being an annoyance, but now you've really pushed the boat out. What changed? I have taught for nearly twenty years now and _you _are the most offensive thing I've had to deal with in all those years. And I've dealt with a school choir production of the muggle musical 'Hair'…"

I became acutely aware of his body against mine. His breath tickled against my ear and he smelt gorgeous; all clean and citrusy. His firm grip on my arms ensured that I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon and I could feel the warmth radiating from his figure. I moved slightly and my breath hitched as I realised he was pretty much fully against me. I looked up into his eyes. They were glittering and black and held such startling intensity that I had to look away. My breath came a little heavier, and I could feel my cheeks redden a little. His hands on my arms were smooth and they traveled down until our hands were entwined. His body really was against mine now and I glanced up again to see him frowning slightly, as if confused. I wanted to reach up and press the little crease between his eyes away, but his strong grip on my hands stopped me. I smirked slightly and pushed my body against his a little more. This time, his breath was caught and his grip on me tightened.

"Um, Professor, you do realise we are right in front of Dumbledore's office…?" I whispered, innocently. My chest seemed to press into him more as he coughed nervously and released my arms.

"Ahem, um, yes." Snape stumbled over his words and looked down, obviously embarrassed. I smirked at him.

I poked his stomach, saying lightly, "I think you need to tone up, Sir."

Snape spluttered and then went back to glowering in a superior manner.

"Fine. That's _it._ Detention, my office, 7pm tonight. You'll be cleaning again. The desks this time." He said silkily, looking down at me.

"Oh goody." I rolled my eyes and walked off, feeling slightly out of breath and dizzy from our encounter.

.

A/N: Thanks for reading. Another little Sue Sylvester/Glee reference in there, if you noticed (^.^) Any ideas on the story or comments on the writing would be greatly appreciated, hope you enjoyed this chapter, I found it quite hard to write, it's 5am and I've been up all night :/ Constructive criticism is always welcome

Odile1001 xx


	13. Chapter 13

I crashed into Snape's classroom without knocking, stumbling slightly and muttering to myself.

"Fucking idiotic little piece of…"

"Miss Granger!" Snape spat, and I whipped around to face him swinging my arms wildly and managing to knock over several of his jars containing pickled eyeballs and the like. They smashed to the floor and Snape stood up in fury, his eyes on me like daggers.

I pretended not to notice him rampaging towards me and brushed a little bit of dust from the sleeve of my robes. I appeared to notice him only when his face was looming terrifyingly above me, looking murderous.

"Oh, hello Sevster, I thought I heard your dulcet tones."

His eyes narrowed at me dangerously.

"Miss Granger, if you _ever _call me that again, I will…"

I zoned out, looking up at him and nodding automatically. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his dark eyes glittered furiously. I watched his lips form words, imagining them on mine, on my body, sucking my neck, my nipples and trailing down my stomach, softly kissing my inner thigh…

"Are you even listening to me?" Snape said.

A little too late I quit my nodding and returned to the real world feeling slightly dizzy from my daydreaming. His face was so close to mine, I could so easily just lean forward and taste his lips…

And then I realised I _had_ leant forward and was now millimeters away from him. I could feel his breath tickling my face.

He swept around, _reparoing_ the smashed jars before sitting down at his desk, busying himself with shuffling papers.

"Just clean the desks, for the love of Merlin." He said, settling down to mark essays.

I just stood there, in another world, looking at him. He glared up from his work, raising an elegant eyebrow at me questioningly.

Come on, Hermione, you're a fucking Gryffindor; pull yourself together!

Then, slowly, I began to walk towards him, my hips swaying naturally and my eyes keeping contact with his. I stopped in front of his desk and placed my palms down, on either side of the essay he was marking. I leant towards him, giving him an excellent view of my cleavage, all the while observing his reaction. His lips parted slightly as he flicked his charcoal eyes over my body, returning to meet my gaze.

"But what if I don't want to clean the desks, Professor?" I inquired, quirking an eyebrow at him.

He stood up. I watched as he walked steadily around his desk towards me until we were face to face.

He leant down, looking at me intensely and I lifted my chin, ready for him to press his lips against mine. I watched him tilt his face slightly and I closed my eyes. My breath hitched as I felt his rough cheek graze my own and then, his lips were against my ear.

"Why, what are you suggesting, Miss Granger?" He purred, and I could just sense his smug little smirk.

He straightened up, my eyes in front of his chest. He ran his hand lightly up my waist, barely there, making me shiver with anticipation, tingles traveling across my lower back. I glanced upwards at him and saw the smirk widening as he noted my reactions. My lips were parted and I could feel the need rapidly increasing in my stomach. I lifted my arms, going onto my tiptoes to reach around his neck, pulling him down to me. Both his hands were now touching lightly on my hips, running slowly upwards with my curves. We came closer together and his lips brushed slightly against mine, sending the tingles down my back again and making me arch into him a little.

We looked at each other again, recognizing the obvious lust between us.

Then, we were kissing as if fighting, each wanting to win the battle. His lips practically forced mine open and I swept my tongue into his mouth. I grasped his hair as his hands traveled to my back, pressing me fully against him. His body was solid and masculine and the guttural groan he let out as I bit his lower lip made me feel weak at the knees. I ground against him, smirking at the hardness I found against my stomach. His hands traveled down to my bum and he lifted me off the ground by my thighs. I gasped as I felt myself being placed roughly on top of his desk and wrapped my legs around his slim hips, feeling his erection right against the place I needed him most.

Severus swiftly tucked my hair to one side and began to work his way down, first nibbling my ear slightly then sucking on my neck. I gasped at the fantastic sensations he was eliciting, feeling the pit of my stomach throb slightly as his hand grazed the sensitive side of my breast. Both his hands found the middle of my shirt and forcefully ripped it off, sliding it along my shoulders and off. He let out another groan as I dropped my head back, gasping and exposing my chest to him. I was wearing a black satin push up bra, my absolute favourite. His hands found my waist again and brought my body roughly towards him, my hot core now pressed against his hardened length, only separated by our clothing.

I reached behind me and unclasped my bra, throwing it to the floor and smiling smugly at Severus's open-mouthed, lust-filled expression. I looked up and kissed him again, moaning as my nipples rubbed against his shirt. I briskly began undoing the buttons, working my way down until his shirt was hanging open and I could glance at his pale, hairless chest. He was very lean and slim. I pressed my chest against him, skin on skin, my olive complexion complimenting his chalky one beautifully.

He bent his head down to take one of my peaked nipples into his mouth, sucking firmly and looking up at me, eyes glittering, as I arched my back and cried out in pleasure. I ran my nails over his back, encouraging him to go further. One arm circled around my lower back, pulling me like an offering up to him, and the other hand slid certainly up over my stomach to squeeze my other breast. He licked around the one he was concentrating his mouth on, carefully watching my wanton reaction as he sucked it again.

I pushed the shirt from his back and he lifted my hips to pull down my skirt revealing the matching briefs to my silky bra. His hand firmly ran over the material, pressing into me, rubbing against my clit, causing me to release a lusty moan. My hips were lifted again and the briefs were off, exposing my hot centre to him. Our desire-filled eyes met and Severus undid his belt efficiently. My eyes flicked down to his crotch as his trousers were removed with his boxers, revealing a delightfully hard cock.

We kept each other's gazes as he positioned himself at my entrance, my thighs quivering slightly, breath coming fast and needy. In one swift thrust he was inside of me, grinding and panting and increasing the hotness inside my stomach.

We both let out a groan as Severus pulled out and thrust again, twisting his hips to allow him to go deeper. I gasped and shivered, eyes shut tight with pleasure. I reached up and clutched his shoulder, pulling him on top of me in another hard thrust. We kissed roughly, Severus circling his hips, eliciting a wonderful clench of my inner muscles. I was so, so close and he knew it.

His hips kept meeting mine, harder and faster, our urgency for release increasing every moment. Every thrust brought out a small cry from me, and I opened my eyes to find Severus gazing at me with such an intensity it made my muscles clench again around his length. He groaned, thrusting harder, head raised up as his pleasure began to meet his climax at the same time as mine. I felt the tightness in my stomach reaching its maximum and suddenly I was released, head dizzy and body useless as waves and waves of warm pleasure swept over my entire body. I felt Severus come around my pressing walls, releasing himself inside of me, moaning in his ecstasy.

He collapsed on top of me. We were breathing heavily in time.

"Fuck." We sighed together.

I looked up at him and we shared a smirk. I closed my eyes and tried to make myself breath normally again. My body felt limp.

Severus brought his lips to mine softly before removing the pressure of his body slightly. He looked down on me and I reached up to tuck a long black hair away. We both smiled.

"That was definitely my favourite detention." I said, smugly.

He quirked an eyebrow and stood up. I missed the solid feel of his body on mine already. The potions master pulled on his boxers and looked at me, laid on his desk, slick with sweat and looking thoroughly shagged. He let out a soft chuckle and lifted me to stand next to him. We both eyed the strewed essays and spilt ink.

"Well, I'm tired." Severus said, stretching and yawning. He drew his gaze from the untidy desk onto me standing naked beside him.

"What, you're just going to love me and leave me? That's not very gentlemanly." I protested, hands on hips.

Snape rolled his eyes at my indignant remark and bent down to get his wand. He then muttered a password at a bookshelf, which swung open revealing his rooms.

"After you, Hermione." He said, tiredly and watched me walk through the secret entrance into his domain. My clothes flew past me into a room just ahead of me. I followed them through into Severus's bedroom, watching as they folded themselves neatly on a chair near the bed.

It was a grand bed, with dark green covers and a large headboard. I went round the side and got in, sinking into its comfortable embrace, instantly closing my eyes. I heard Severus padding towards the bedroom and felt him get in the other side. I moved over to him and muttered, "Sweet dreams, Severus" before I fell asleep with his arm around me, and my head on his chest.

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A/N Sorry again for the slow update, but there we go, finally a bit of smut. Hope you enjoyed this, reviews are love! x


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